A Baby Changes Everything

I can’t believe a year has passed since last Christmas. Owen is loving all the holiday decor, and Christmas lights. He likes the Christmas tree, the nativity scene, and, of course, Elfie. He really does not like Santa Clause though. We got some really great screaming Santa pictures this year! While still being too young to fully appreciate everything about presents we had a fairly stress free time this year with gifts. My husband and I were brainstorming ways to teach him about Jesus and the real reasons for the season. He learned about the nativity scene and knows where “Baby Jesus” is sleeping. On Christmas morning, we decided we will sing Happy Birthday to Jesus over breakfast and start the day off with the focus on Him. Being not even two yet, he doesn’t understand, but it will start a good tradition for our family.

A baby changes everything. A baby changed everything the night Christ was born. “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6. I am forever grateful for our wonderful savior. The phrase can also be extended to modern times as a baby truly changes everything. As I sit here and type this, my husband’s family is all here sitting in my living room. Before our baby was born this would not have happened. The power of a baby is magical and can transform lives. May we remember to be thankful for Jesus this time of the year and always, and thank Him for all the joys He allows us to experience. My prayer for us all is to find joy this Christmas season, enjoy our loved ones to the fullest extent, and let His light guide us throughout the next year. Have a very Merry Christmas!

Cherishing Every Second

I’m sitting here in my car, baby napping, reading other mommy blogs, wondering what I’m doing with my blog and if anyone will ever read it. As I am researching the internet I come across all sorts of stories but today the one the caught my attention was about a mom who lost her 6-year-old son to cancer. I can’t even begin to fathom the heartbreak, grief, and sorrow that accompanies a loss like that one. And the fact of the matter is, tragedy can strike at any minute. One phone call and your entire world changes. As the reality set in that anything can happen at anytime, another reality hit me hard. Life is too short to worry about the 50 toys thrown around my living room, about the dirty dishes in the sink, about the crumbs underneath the high chair. Life is too short to worry about what the lady in the check out line behind me is thinking as my son is screaming because he doesn’t want to leave the store without his pack of gum, although at 1 years old, he has no idea what a pack of gum is, he just knows that it is colorful and he wants it! Life is too short to worry about the fact that my 2-year-old already wants to pick out his own outfits and half, ok-let’s be serious, all the time, it doesn’t match yet he will kick and scream until he has his own way. Instead of complaining to my friends, how tired I am all the time, maybe I will start sharing how blessed I am instead. Maybe I will share how lucky I am to have a little boy who thinks I am his whole world, and who definitely is my whole world. Maybe I will stop constantly pick up the mess, and instead, start making the mess as I play crazy games with my toddler. Maybe I will just stop trying so hard, and start simply enjoying the moments I have with my precious boy. Moments that go by all too quickly, and moments that could change at any given moment. Here’s to enjoying the mess and enjoying life! xoxo

3 months postpartum..

3 months postpartum diary entry. Motherhood is hard. Understatement of the year! It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done and gone through. I had a great pregnancy, however, they say there are really four “trimesters” and the fourth one kicked my ass!

My labor was a disaster I started having contractions four days before my beautiful boy came into this world. I was in active labor for 19 hours, 14 hours without an epidural. I hired a doula because I really didn’t want to have a c-section. Ultimately other plans had been made. After 19 hours it was determined that my baby was not coming out naturally and an emergency c-section took place. It was the strangest feeling knowing that things were completely out of my control and in the hands of the doctors. I couldn’t even see my baby for about five minutes after he was delivered. I heard his cry and knew he existed. But the time between hearing his cry and when I finally had him in my arms seemed like an eternity. It was so surreal to hear people saying “oh, he’s beautiful” about my child who I hadn’t even seen yet. I really did not like that feeling.

To make matters worse, I was completely exhausted. When were moved to the maternity ward, we did not have a good nurse. It felt like we were thrown to the wolves with a new baby in tow. Our nurse didn’t even give us our handbook or explain how things worked. She apparently had better things on her mind, given that her shift was ending in thirty minutes. That she did tell us.

I had taken breastfeeding classes and read the books and watched the videos. You would think that should have prepared me a little bit. Yeah, right! I might as well have watched Breastfeeding 101 with my eyes closed and earphones on. That’s about as much as I knew when it came down to it. The night nurses didn’t offer to show me/teach me. I had to wait till the next day when the lactation nurses were in! And this was supposed to be a good hospital! I think I was there on the wrong day. It was St. Patty’s day— looking back they all probably were off to party and drink green beer!

Summing up my delivery experience I would say that it could have been a lot worse, but it also could have been a lot better. Emotionally, it set me up on a difficult course. One that eventually would take me to my lowest lows and my highest highs. A course that would lead me to self discovery, spiritual awakening, and the greatest love I could ever imagine. I discovered the love a mother has for a child. And I discovered the love of the Father. The ultimate, unending, unconditional love of our Lord and Savior and His desire to always help us get up.

Welcome

I decided to start this website because adult-ing is really hard, and being ‘mom’ is even harder. I felt the need to create a space where we can all come together to share and relate to one another through the ups and downs, the joys and sorrows, the triumphs and the challenges.

I suffered through postpartum depression after the birth of my first son and I wish I had a place to go and know that I wasn’t alone. I discovered that as many as 1 in 7 moms (and that is just diagnosed cases) suffer a period of postpartum depression after childbirth. That’s a lot of moms! Knowing that we are not alone in our struggles is such a relief. I wanted to create a space where I could share my experiences with others, with the slight chance, that maybe I could help someone in the same situation. I am happy to say I am fully recovered and now I want to share my story with you. A story full of self discovery, spiritual awakening, and the greatest love I could ever imagine. I discovered the love a mother has for a child. And I discovered the love of the Father. The ultimate, unending, unconditional love of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and His desire to always help us get up.

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper, not to harm, to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.

Here’s to our wonderful futures!

xoxo